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the obligatory "i'm still alive lol" post.   
09:14pm 12/03/2007
  Hi.  I don't really contribute to this much anymore, as one can plainly see.  I do update my blog at MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/jeroenwing) from time to time, so if you're interested, there are some sporadic updates over there.  I may start posting here once again, though...one never knows.

So.  What's been happening?
 
     

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01:03am 11/03/2006
 
mood: detached
Since I apparently can't be bothered to update online with any regularity, I thought I'd share some random journal-esque writing I composed at work earlier today. Cast thy gaze upon my catharsis...


7:35pm:

One hour and 25 minutes of unadulterated and unmitigating boredom and forced cheerfulness left to endure. As a last resort by which to retain my sanity, I turn to writing (again?). Predictable, I'm sure...but the same could be said for Scooby Doo, right? And don't a deserve a proverbial Scooby Snack in my own right? ONWARD!

As the various dimensions (light, sound, time, space, etc.) continue to hurtle by, leaving me at a standstill in their wake, it has dawned upon me how relatively unchanged I am. Sure, I've moved out of father's house, became married, and all that jazz, but when it comes down to it...those are just like status changes. Not unlike being toasty in Suikoden or a pygmy in any random Final Fantasy game, I guess you could say (although I don't really have any elixir or tonic to produce a counter-effect - but I digress). The core essence of who I was in, say, eighth grade - that remains. Even if it has been slightly augmented and expanded upon since, I've yet to notice that mythical mutation into a mature adult. Maybe that's a drawback to being incredibly self-aware at a young age. It's probably akin to staring at the minute hand of a clock. When you're watching, it doesn't seem as though it moves. Such is my existence?

I miss it [home] a great deal more than I would have suspected. The predictablity of it all. Feeling like a valued contributor, instead of an easily replaced quantity of hours. A genuine comrade, as opposed to someone to simply kill time with during/after work.

I want it to be known that I didn't willfully abandon anyone. While I'm notoriously good at letting things gradually slide over the edge, it's not as though that's the path I wanted. I only accepted it because I thought that others were fine with it. And I supose the prospect of them actually being alright with it and not thinking of me any longer is the most troubling of all.

ENUFF'ZNUFF TIME 4 A CHANGE
 
     

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bring this savage back hooooooooooooome   
01:37pm 03/02/2006
  So, it's a rare day off from work that isn't a Monday. Color me badd excited!

It seems I tend to leave terse, cryptic entries when I'm extremely pissed off and agitated, and promptly fail to either address any comments of concern or explain myself. It's a perk that goes along with being a bit of a reclusive enigma, I suppose. But, eh, I suppose it can all be summed up in six words: I sell shoes for a living. The occasional fits of bitterness and searing failure make a little more sense now, yes?

If there is one semi-promising development out of the relocation thus far (aside from the fact that I like the apartment and it's generally nice to be living anywhere other than Salem), it's that I actually have a slight (if only ever-so) social life. Which primarily revolves around heading to a certain pub/arcade after work and playing video games in between spells of drinking Newcastle and watching hockey. Oh, and plotting to somehow sabotage the parent company along with my co-workers/comrades.

This evening, I have my last driving lesson. Yes, that means I will soon acquire my driver's license. It's like...and end of an era. The book of J - Eternal Passenger/Pedestrian is coming to a close. Which is why I fully intend to spend the rest of the day listening to Iron Maiden and playing Championship Manager 01/02. What can I say? I like to celebrate in style.

I'm out. Later (probably much later, given my history).
 
     

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11:09pm 24/11/2005
 
mood: holiday cheer
The streak of Thanksgivings that have been entirely less than pleasant extends to three. Also, I have to be at work at 7:45am tomorrow, and I won't be getting off until 6:00pm. Feel the joy radiating out of each and every fiber of my being!

Anyway. Back to hockey.
 
     

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11:22pm 21/11/2005
  answer me era  
     

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questioningly   
07:21am 11/04/2005
 
mood: nostalgic
Another night, another dream. (of always you?)

Wait, let me start over.

I've been thinking some things over lately. And while I realize that in itself is surprising, that's not all. What's been bothering me lately is that I worry about whether or not my friends realize that I do appreciate them, even if I do sometimes go long...really long amounts of time without talking to them. For some reason it's like, if a certain amount of time passes since I've talked to a friend, I fear that they think I'm a jerk for not staying in touch like a friend should.

[shrugs] I don't know. I suppose my ability to express the fact that I miss someone is totally inadequate. I never intentionally give anyone the cold shoulder, but it probably seems that way. In any case, I want my friends to know that I do appreciate them, and that nothing is taken for granted. Word.

I've got to be heading to work in a few minutes. This morning I'll be working with WonderBoy, who apparently knows everything, has been everywhere in the world, and has all the girls falling for him. Yeah. He's like the coolest guy ever, only that NOBODY REALIZES IT BUT HIM IN HIS MIND. And yet, he seems to be the manager's favorite - go figure.

[tick-tock, you don't stop]
 
     

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...I want you to be you   
05:55pm 06/04/2005
 
mood: revived
Yeah, I continue to exist. Let's get this party started.

Semi-interesting developments since the last update:

  • Not going to college this semester, due to a wonderful twist of fate that prevented my financial aid from being processed until after the deadline for registration had passed.
  • Despite being in academic purgatory yet again, I made the Dean's List at IUS.
  • I'm now employed at an extremely-glamorous five-star restaurant, also known as SUBWAY. Eat fresh, yo.
  • My aunt died last Saturday. I miss her.
  • On a brighter note, the wedding is only 24 days away.


I've skipped over some random drama and boring events, but that's pretty much it. Now, onto current affairs - I'm scheduled for 53.5 hours of work this week. Overtime city. It'll be worth it when the paycheck comes in, though.

The "Don't Stop Me Now" scene in Shaun of the Dead is pretty much my favorite moment in all of motion picture history. Also, I've determined that I will someday own a Liger as a pet.

And...I'm quickly becoming bored, so that's all for the time being. I'll try to update more often than every few months from now on. Word up.

Still AliveCollapse )
 
     

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02:17pm 24/08/2004
 
mood: anxious
So, here I am - college (finally). Took me long enough, I suppose...but I made it nonetheless. I've only had one class as of this writing, but surprisingly enough, I feel as though I've never really stopped going to school. Given the four year lapse between my last period of education, that's probably weird, but eh.

Class Schedule for Fall 2004Collapse )

I'm going to kill some time by playing Peasant Quest before my Intro to Ethics class. Keep it real like Eazy-E*, yo.


*Minus the whole dealing drugs and dying of AIDS at a young age, of course.
 
     

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04:56pm 18/06/2004
  I haven't updated in awhile, so I'll sum up the events of the last week or so with the following.

Life is awesome, then it isn't. Rinse, repeat, rinse.

At the moment, it isn't. But hey, at least now I'll have more time to be online and hang around with my crew. Word up.

Heh. When I stopped in at work to pick up my paycheck this afternoon, Mike seemed surprised that I was wearing "sporty" Nike gear. He also mentioned that I should shave my head - both of these sudden observations coming from nowhere. I found that odd, and I realize it was probably incredibly uninteresting to everyone else. Still, this is my journal, and I'm not being paid to entertain people. There's always the option to remove me from your friends list, you know. o_O

I want a shower CD player. Like, NOW. I seriously need to stop wasting money.
 
     

(16 contestants | Come on down!)

 
paragraphs are for the awake   
06:30pm 06/06/2004
  I'm too exhausted to write up a proper update, so enjoy this - you know you love it.

I'm ready to sleep the sleep of champs.

You Got Served is the most unintentionally hilarious movie EVER.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was nifty.

Mals' niece (or should I say daughter?) is a cute kid.

Tullis really blows at video games - like, I totally want to yank the controller out of his hand 90% of the time.

I had an alright time, I guess.

I'm passing out now.

Holla.
 
     

(4 contestants | Come on down!)

 
   
03:24am 04/06/2004
 
mood: replyhazy, try again
WORD UP

WORD UP

I SAID WORD UP, DAMN IT.

I feel much better now. About everything. I don't know how, but I do - I won't question it. I'm not going into details, so if you're looking for an in-depth report, you're out of luck. Actually, just consider yourself lucky you haven't been in the mix; the J-Bird effect has not been one to behold as of late. It'll be better, though, because I'm going to stop giving a damn. That's the key, I think.

I'm going to sleep all day, work, and then return home to sleep some more. My Friday night will rule like no other, FOR REAL.
 
     

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Spearmint? I'd rather have Wintergreen. What are you talking about?   
07:03am 02/06/2004
  Not only are Chuck and myself an awesome screenwriting team, but we are probably also the best tag team video gaming duo of all time. The two of us ended up playing Mega Man 2 for about five consecutive hours, and in the process had such a good time that it almost didn't even matter that Tullis decided to no-show the movie planning session. Alas, he left his White Stripes CD at my house - wait, that just means I get to listen to it that much longer! Rock. \m/

It's looking as though the schizophrenic/bipolar weather patterns are on track to continue - today's looking to be nice outside, thus far. If it ends up raining tomorrow, I will officially diagnose the weather with manic depression and prescribe it some sort of medication.

Heh. I'm not sure why, but I always feel like I should pitch in a bit with some work off the clock when I visit Mallory and Tullis at Papa John's. For real, it was all I could do to keep myself from sanitizing my hands and joining in on the make line when a screen of orders appeared while Chuck and I played hacky sack with a piece of dough. What can I say? I'm one hell of a guy (riiiiiiiight). o_O

Awesome, I'm supposed to do some work for my father in about four hours, and I haven't even gone to bed yet. I totally have the best time-management skills ever. WORD LIFE
 
     

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ICE COLD   
08:36am 26/05/2004
 
mood: ruling it
I feel so freaking OUTSTANDING right now. I ran for about two miles in the rain, to get all of this negativity/stress/other bullshit out - it worked like a charm, you don't even know how well. Everything makes sense now. I'm not even tired, I could run like another three and a half miles right this second if I felt like it. Four words perfectly express how I feel right now.

DOUBLE
THE FUCK
DRAGON!


Yeah! Oh, and you've got to check out my stupid Hotmail horoscope, it's funnier than an old man falling down and racking himself with his cane.

"LEO

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

A partner or close companion has a sudden flash of inspiration and could call you with a great idea or wild notion at any time today. You might feel like a stick in the mud if you are not as enthusiastic, but you could also be the voice of reason."


Yeah, I've only been calling myself the voice of reason for like, a few years now. This like one of those fortune cookies that doesn't even really tell a fortune, but instead a simple observation. "You have a quietly intelligent nature." What? That's supposed to be a fortune? Like hell it is, that's something that should be obvious to everyone. Almost makes me wish that we'd skipped out on paying for dinner last night.

Right now I'm listening to both "Going the Distance" by Cake and "Runnin' With The Devil" by Van Halen...at the SAME TIME. I'm going to make the jivest dance remix of the two songs combined, it will rule so hardcore it isn't even funny. Then I can quit Papa John's and tour with Robert Miles and ultimately end up addicted to heroin and featured on "Behind the Music". I can't WAIT.

There's so much I realized while I was running that my short-term memory is having difficulty keeping up with it all. There's a quote from Haggard that sums things up nicely. And yeah, I'm probably going to keep talking about how cool that movie is until everyone either
a) sees it and loves it
b) sees it and hates it
c) takes me off of their friends list/stops talking to me in real life because they're too stupid to deal with what's what.

But anyway! Here's the quote, from the incomparable Falcone (Brandon DiCamillo):

"You think I'm kidding, watch how kidding I am."

Haggard also features the Doctor Who theme song playing in the background at one point. There's also a cover of "Livin' La Vida Loca" that features kazoos. KAZOOS! Is that not enough to make you want to watch it every day for the rest of your life? No? Then I don't even know you anymore!

I just made a new icon, showing how killer I think everything is now that I know what's up! \m/ CAROLINE~
 
     

(7 contestants | Come on down!)

 
it was like water down the drain   
04:56am 26/05/2004
 
mood: l'etranger
Stoneco864 (2:38:20 AM): your in a band just like Zack attack
Zheroen (2:38:34 AM): I'm more like Sly from California Dreams

True that, true that. Though I do have this awesome silk shirt that's totally like something Screech Powers would wear. I think I've worn it in public all of once. It rules.

Only like, my favorite song EVER (for now, anyway)

I totally just wrote a poem right now, which is exceedingly rare. When inspiration hits, I've just got to use it. You know how it is.

je sais que tu regrettes nous, maintenant.
je suis désolé, vraiment.
mon rêveur, je ne peux pas te voir.
bonsoir, au revoir.


Stupid, isn't it? Apologies for it being in French. I couldn't express the feelings in English, as dumb as that may sound. Anyway...what? YEAH! OKAY!

I'm going to leave like Meursault, now. Later, I guess(?).
 
     

(6 contestants | Come on down!)

 
shot right through   
10:36pm 23/05/2004
 
mood: idiot
As of last night, I've successfully managed to alienate everyone I truly care about (most importantly, the one person I never wanted to hurt, ever). It's quite an accomplishment, really - absolutely nothing to be proud of, mind you, but still incredible. How do I manage such feats of stupidity? It is a mystery, for sure.

I should flee to Tibet and become a monk or something, before I create any further havoc. I swear, I'm the goddamned living embodiment of entropy itself.
 
     

(11 contestants | Come on down!)

 
   
01:45am 06/05/2004
 
mood: delirious
Eh, I can't sleep. As a result, I'm going to inflict another journal update upon you all. Sucks to be you!

Damn, I actually put this song on a mix CD? I must really hate myself. Like, SERIOUSLY. This song is so freaking horrible, and it's going to be in my head for a solid week. I think the only reason I downloaded it in the first place was because it used to come over the radio at Kohl's on a daily basis. And now, I'm listening to it of my own free will...wow. I'm going to find a razor.

Oh, I get it - all of the songs on this CD are SUPPOSED to be lame. "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash is playing just now, to hammer that point home. Yeah, that's the ticket - I meant for this CD to suck! That's an excuse I intend to use in every day life now. "Yeah, I know that pizza looks like shit - I MEANT FOR IT TO SUCK! Pizzas that aren't even really round are the next big thing!" I'm sure that will fly.

I have the next two days off. I'm going to spend every second possible of the next 24 hours playing video games. I know how to live it up. For real.
 
     

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another plea put to rest   
08:05pm 02/05/2004
 
mood: movin' on up
As of last night, I am officially employed at Papa John's. I didn't actually have to do much - Josh and Mallory lobbied on my behalf to Shannon, I filled out an application. Shortly thereafter, I was informed by Shannon that I was to come in on Tuesday evening and begin working. Rock. \m/

I keep forgetting about the fact that I'm to be moving out of this house soon. Whenever my father mentions it, I always find myself taking a moment for the concept to register itself. Earlier, I was rather indifferent to the prospect of moving. I mean, I didn't particularly care for the thought, but I also accepted that I didn't have much say in the matter. Now, however...eh. Returning to the middle of nowhere seems less favorable with each passing day. I'm hoping that Josh and Chuck still want me to move in with them once they have a place, and that such a gesture would not be seen by my family as an act of betrayal. I don't know, though. What's a sucka to do?

The first thought that usually passes through my head on any given day upon waking is usually something along the lines of "Damn it, why did I have to wake up yet AGAIN?" Not because my dreams have been exceptionally interesting as of late (they haven't), but...yeah. Today was no exception. In this case, though, all turned out well - I was eventually abducted for a good cause. LIKE WHOA.

So, the agenda for tonight. I'm slated to look after my sister's kids yet again. One more benefit of having a job - being able to skip out of non-paying family obligations!

I'd really like to get "Purple Rain" by Prince out of my head at this point (especially upon considering the ramifications). Maybe if I listen to a similarly depressing song, I'll feel better - a negative multiplied by a negative results in a positive, right? Time to put this theory into action...now.
 
     

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09:10am 30/04/2004
 
mood: [shrugs]
I'm so nervous at this point, you'd think the funeral I'm about to attend was my own. My stomach is a knotted handiwork of sympathy and regret, along with some other feelings I'd rather not mention.

Apologies to all if I've been a douche lately. I assure you, it hasn't been intentional.

Later.
 
     

(6 contestants | Come on down!)

 
   
07:14am 25/04/2004
  !

THP, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE
 
     

(2 contestants | Come on down!)

 
   
07:06am 25/04/2004
  I miss Domenica Davis doing the weekend weather on WAVE-3

THE END
 
     

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